Christmas Gifts from Hell. Or what NOT to get the ones you love this year…

Okay – so it just seems WRONG to put Hell in the same sentence as Christmas.  I know.  My apologies.

So my friend, morning show anchor and fellow mom of four, Michelle Linn of Fox23 and I had a great time brainstorming this segment. (Actually, Michelle  had the most fun.  After her nightmare Elmo experiences, I think this was cathartic for her).   WIth eight kids between us – we have seen it all.  The good, the bad and the VERY ANNOYING of Christmas gifts.

Not really sure what the heck these are - but they looking annoying. And a little demented.

We decided to combine our knowledge and help our viewers out a little…on what NOT to give the lil’ darlings this year.  (or, if you just want to piss someone off – this is the list for you.).

Or you can just watch the segment right here…

The What- Not -To- Get -Kids Christmas Gift List

compiled by Michelle and Marnie (well, mostly Michelle)

No batteries

There’s nothing worse than giving your child some fantastic  toy, and they can’t play with it on Christmas Day because no one has batteries  to run it.

Teeny tiny pieces

Our other pet peeve are  toys with teeny tiny parts, or  beads.  Our issue is that people may  give our older children  that crap, but they have younger siblings who like to put that stuff  in her mouth, and it’s impossible to police, and we find those little beads and  crap (can you tell how we feel about this?) all over the house and we HATE all of  that.  Polly Pocket dolls and art kits with BEADS are the biggest  offenders.  Legos are a close second.

These are perfect for fitting into the nose, eyes and ears of curious toddlers…and a guaranteed visit to the ER

Non-washable  markers

Total rookie mistake… any mom would NEVER commit this faux  pas, but it’s a common error made by grandparents.  Mostly our in-laws, and  they have young kids.  Go figure.  Senility?  It’s a  guaranteed way to make this mom mad on Christmas – ruin a festive holiday  outfit with permanent marker.

Loud toys that can’t be turned  off

We once had a personalized Elmo doll.  I gave it to  my daughter on her first birthday.  It plugged into the computer and you  answered a bunch of questions about her.  That way Elmo knew her  birthday, her favorite color, her favorite food, what time she took naps, and  went to bed.  Big problem.  Somehow Elmo was possessed, and would  SHOUT from the toy box, at 3AM “GOOD MORNING!  IT’S TIME TO GET  UP!  ELMO WANTS TO PLAY!  LET’S HAVE BREAKFAST!”  Needless to  say, we don’t still have him.

He looks so innocent and all that...

Electronics that require monthly service plans

iPhones, DVRs – whatever is your fancy.  Don’t buy it for your niece, nephew or grandkids unless you are prepared to pay the monthly plan.  My brother bought me a toll – tag for my birthday.  And bless his little heart – three years later, he is still paying my bill.  (I honestly don’t think that was his plan).  Same goes with  subscriptions…don’t buy a subscription to a magazine or a membership to the zoo unless you plan to renew it.

Best gift?  Sure to please  parents?

Books!!!  You just can’t go wrong!!!  They aren’t  messy.  They don’t take up a ton of space.  They won’t rot my kid’s  brain.

There you have it, folks.

I posed the question to my Facebook friends as well.  Moon sand, train whistles (no-brainer) and possessed Elmos also made the list.

So if my children receive any of said gifts from friends or family this year – I will know that they must not like me.  Or just don’t read my blog.