Better in Theory. Or How Turkey Mountain Kicked My Butt.

I am honestly almost embarrassed to write this (obviously not TOO embarrassed)…however, I am writing this from a supine position because I can’t sit up.

No, it wasn’t Mount Rainier, the Grand Tetons or any other mountain I’ve climbed that put me in this pain.  It was Turkey Mountain.  In Tulsa Oklahoma.  Elevation 900 ft. (or something ridiculous like that).

Pretty intimidating - huh?

So my friend Shelley and I (actually, it was HER idea), decided to take a beautiful fall hike through TUrkey Mountain a couple of days ago.  Usually our friend Missy comes along on our walks too – but she had the foresight to “have an appointment” and not be able to meet us.  Missy’s smart like that. 

So it’s a four mile loop around Turkey Mountain (which for you non Tulsan’s – Turkey Mountain is an urban wilderness area just west of the river).  Piece of cake.  We’ve got this.

Yeah.  Famous last words. 

I was forgetting a few things.  1.  Baby J for starters (who is now a very heavy 25 pound toddler) that I had to strap to my back. 

2.  I am now over 40 and have pushed out a baby since my last mountain trek.

3.  STrolling around the midtown neighborhoods pushing a stroller is not the same as climbing rocks and trying to balance with a baby on your back.

4.  It might be a good idea to bring some water and something to eat.  Even if it is only 4 miles.

My husband will be so ashamed of me (I haven’t told him the deets).  I broke every rule my  survivor-man, ninja, martial arts, weapon loving husband taught me.  Like tell someone where you are going.  (Come ON, it’s only Turkey Mountain – I can see downtown from the top).  Or perhaps carry a compass.  And maybe bring some water?

Oh no.  Because we are tough women.  We don’t need anything to eat or drink.  Nor does Baby J. 

So, even though the trails are well-marked (thank you River Parks!) we still managed to get lost.  Shelley is every bit as directionally challenged as I am.  Needless to say, she won’t be my pick on a survivor outing (I love you Shelley, you have other strengths…). 

About twenty minutes into the killer trek up the very steep mountain – I was starting to get light-headed.  And Baby J was getting VERY heavy.  Seriously?  Did I really not bring snacks?  We scoured through the backpack and found a Lord knows how old granola bar.  That was pretty stale.  And I had to share half of it with Baby J.

wilderness adventure

Where is Survivor Man Shane when you need him? He's carrying Baby J from now on.

So with the newfound energy of half a stale granola bar – we trekked on to conquer the mountain.  Survivor Man has nothing on us. 

About an hour and a half later – everything is starting to look the same.  Was this the yellow trail?  Or did we accidentally wander to the blue trail?  Baby J is starting to not have such a good time.  Shelley offered to carry her for a bit.  I gladly gave my skinny 90 pound friend my backpack with a baby attached and watched her wobble over the rocks.  If my back hadn’t been hurting so much – I would have felt pretty guilty.

We heard a helicopter overhead.  Were they searching for us?  Should we do a smoke signal?  And if it couldn’t get any worse – Baby J has had enough.  And let’s us all know it.

Two and a half hours later (yes, pathetic I know), we stumbled upon our car.  I was about to eat my arm I was so hungry.  Good thing there was a Chick-fil-a within a mile of our wilderness adventure…

So as my friend Shelley said as we hoisted our weary bodies into the car – “Some things are better in theory…”

Really?  This seems to be a running theme…along with hindsight.

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This entry was posted in Manic Musings and tagged , , by marniefernandez. Bookmark the permalink.

About marniefernandez

Official kid wrangler of four. Step mom, adoptive mom & bio mom. City girl turned country bumpkin. Small town girl next door married to Hollywood sniper/moto-cross/ninja architect. Career girl turned stay-at-home mom with baby on hip. Permanent taxi-cab driver, schedule organizer and professional laundress. (When not chasing kids...) Mommy blogger, columnist, travel writer and consultant. And no, I don't sleep. And yes, I take Prozac. And drink wine from sippy cups.

4 thoughts on “Better in Theory. Or How Turkey Mountain Kicked My Butt.

  1. Ha. I was there and this made me laugh! I am not offended in the least that I will not be your survivor pick. I love you too much for that…

  2. :-). And here I was sitting at my desk contemplating embarking on some sort of physical exercise routine on my 40th birthday. Thanks so much for helping me to realize that watching others exercise is much less stressful. Lifting my adult beverage and leaving the house for our date nights is probably the best limit for me to stick to.

  3. Pingback: Holiday Activities for the Kids. No Cabin Fever Here. | marniefernandez

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