The Breakdown.

It was a meltdown of epic proportions.

And I’m not talking about my sweet Baby J turned temperamental toddler who I am thinking already has raging hormones.

Nor am I talking about my six year old son who has an impeccable flair for the dramatic.

No, this time it was mama.

It was my own fault, really.

I mean as they say – too much of a good thing is bad? (or however the hell that saying goes).

Anyway. Yes. Kids have their limits.

So I decided to cram in one more social event in an already overly scheduled day. I dragged my completely worn out kids out to dinner with friends and their completely worn out kids.

Seriously? Did I REALLY think this could possibly end well?

eating out with toddlers

Really Mom?

Again, my naivety never ceases to astound me.

The day started off great – my friend Nan and I took Baby J and our two youngest boys to Nonni’s for a tour of their factory to learn how they make their to-die-for biscotti (thanks T-Town Moms!).

Yes, moms took off the hairnets for the pictures. Yes, we are vain.

The magic is done all right here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, people. Think Willy Wonka minus the creepy voice and the Oompa Loompas.

My Oompah Loompahs in training.

After 2 hours of learning how to make the heavenly twice-baked goodness (and chasing Baby J around the factory, trying to keep her hairnet on and keeping Nicholas out of the massive vat of chocolate) – most people would have called it a day.

Not a fan of the hairnet.

But we were just getting started.

Thank you for the yummy biscotti Chuck! You rock!

Lunch at Nan’s house.

Two hours at the pool in the 100 plus degree weather.

Seriously mom? It's freaking hot out here.

Another playdate at our house…four kids playing Survival Man while Baby J tried to sleep. You can imagine that scenario.

They might LOOK all cute and everything...

And of course I didn’t stop there. Because I’m an idiot.

Fast forward to our Super Fun Relaxing Dinner with Friends and All Their Kids. An Oxymoron at its best.

Nicholas cried the entire way to Elote (my favorite restaurant – in downtown Tulsa) because his friends left. Josie just cried.

Six tired kids. One unhappy baby. Four frazzled parents. You do the math.

I’m pretty sure our photo is posted to the hostess stand with the note: “Do Not Seat These People Under Any Circumstances.”

Josie was not interested in anything but fussing and pouring everyone’s drink on the floor. Nicholas kept disappearing to the bathroom, the bar, the kitchen – God knows where. I was sweating bullets from running up and down mopping up puddles of Josie’s mess and trying to track down my son.

The highlight. My friend Sandy’s youngest was trying to be helpful and tried to carry Josie across the restaurant. He is only a few inches taller than she. Yep. Dropped her right on her face on the concrete floor. You could hear her screams all the way to my hometown.

I rush outside with Baby J to calm her down. Not even five minutes later, Nan comes running out yelling at me to get back inside. Nicholas has it in his head that we have left him there. And he is letting everyone know it by sobbing hysterically in the middle of the wrestling ring.

I throw Baby J down and try to console Nicholas (to absolutely no avail). In the meantime Baby J has wandered off. Too the bar. (like mother, like daughter).

I’ll just take my wine to go – thank you. Got my sippy cup right here.

Nan’s oldest son was getting tired of the drama (as was the rest of the restaurant). He is practically pulling his mom out the door to escape the madness.

However, she sees me out of the corner of her eye, looking wild eyed trying to pawn my children off on Jeramy (the owner of the restaurant). In the meantime – Josie is trying to make drinks at the bar and Nicholas has sequestered himself in a corner (still crying) and refusing to leave.

Nan was not about to leave me alone – for fear she would wake up in the morning and read about me on the front page of the paper.

She is a good friend. Ranks right up there with Chardonnay.

My dear friend Nan. I love ya more than my luggage.

So on this note – mama is taking a break.  Headed to the mountains for family vacay.  Where I am not allowed to plan the day’s activities. 

Good bye my readers – wish us luck on the road and I’ll be back in a couple weeks!

This entry was posted in Manic Musings and tagged , , by marniefernandez. Bookmark the permalink.

About marniefernandez

Official kid wrangler of four. Step mom, adoptive mom & bio mom. City girl turned country bumpkin. Small town girl next door married to Hollywood sniper/moto-cross/ninja architect. Career girl turned stay-at-home mom with baby on hip. Permanent taxi-cab driver, schedule organizer and professional laundress. (When not chasing kids...) Mommy blogger, columnist, travel writer and consultant. And no, I don't sleep. And yes, I take Prozac. And drink wine from sippy cups.

4 thoughts on “The Breakdown.

  1. I loved reading this, especially how nancy is such a dear friend, to all! She will do just about anything for her friends, her heart is so big. You crack me up and make me feel better about a hectic life of working and being a mom.

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