Culture Clash – Or why you shouldn’t take 8 children to a museum.

Yep. We did it again. After staying put for most of Spring Break – the Fernandez Family (minus daddy – he is the smart one) decided to tempt the travel gods one more time and take the kids on a mini road trip.

But, just taking our four wasn’t quite enough. We somehow felt the need to double the load.

Yes, you read correctly. Eight children under the age of 10. To the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History in Norman, Oklahoma.

The Fernandez Fam plus Four More

Now, to qualify – I did have some help. My sis in law (my brother was on a “playdate” at the NCAA tournament…by the way – how did all the dad’s get out of this outing?) And my parents. (who also, I might add invited the neighbor twins to increase our total to eight – gee thanks, dad).

So down the highway we go. Two SUV’s, three car seats, four boosters, twelve bodies and a partridge in a pear tree.

No sooner than five minutes into the trip we forgot the snacks. Much to our passengers chagrin, we turned around. Ten minutes later we had more complaining from the peanut gallery as to when we were going to be there because “this was taking just WAY too long.” (Well, honey – your other option is to get out and walk). This scare tactic seemed to work.

Apparently, we weren’t the only ones who had this idea. The museum was beyond PACKED. Each adult had a certain number of kiddos to keep up with and we STILL managed to lose a couple. (I used to make fun of the parent’s who had their kids on leashes while at the mall. I now understand the necessity of this invention).

Spotted three - now where are the other five?

Then we found the rowdy ones (that would be my boys) climbing on top of statues of horses and making lewd gestures on the Wooly Mammoth’s scuplture’s private parts. Nice. This is about the time the security guards showed up.

Tristan is fascinated with the Mammoth's anatomy.

Man down!

Kids? What kids? I’ve never seen them before – I’m here by myself.

Anyway. Trying to keep up with eight wild children in a crowded area would try the patience of Mother Teresa. So you can just imagine my state of mind. Valium anyone?

And speaking of anxiety – I did misplace my baby. Who was in a stroller. Yep, probably shouldn’t admit that one in public. After my heart stopped and blood ran cold – I realized she was in the very capable hands of my six year old son and nephew who decided she needed to go spelunking through the cave exhibit.

My nephew with Baby J - after the great spelunking adventure

After a few meltdowns, lost cash, more chastising from security guards and maybe a few damaged exhibits…four weary adults dragged eight hyper children to the car.

And that my friends – is why my children will remain culturally illiterate. Unless I pay someone else to take them.

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About marniefernandez

Official kid wrangler of four. Step mom, adoptive mom & bio mom. City girl turned country bumpkin. Small town girl next door married to Hollywood sniper/moto-cross/ninja architect. Career girl turned stay-at-home mom with baby on hip. Permanent taxi-cab driver, schedule organizer and professional laundress. (When not chasing kids...) Mommy blogger, columnist, travel writer and consultant. And no, I don't sleep. And yes, I take Prozac. And drink wine from sippy cups.

One thought on “Culture Clash – Or why you shouldn’t take 8 children to a museum.

  1. That was hillariously entertaining! I don’t know what made it funnier, the fact that I know you and your parents, or that I pictured this outing with my family of my significant other, his 17 year old son and almost 4 year old daughter (they are all three on the same approximate maturity level-God love ’em). I just wonder which one of them would have been as fascinated with the appendages of the exhibits as Tristan? The little one has a tendency to embelish stories, I can only imagine what she would tell her mom we did at the museum. Next time, send a mass email invitation…we can caravan.

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