Stadol Hallucinations and Defunct Epidurals

Stadol Hallucinations and Defunct Epidurals

Submitted by MarnieFernandez on March 10, 2010 – 9:30pm

043.JPGShane watched me pack for the hospital. I had a journal, laptop, books, magazines, cookies for my friends and family (I wanted to be a good hostess of course) and even thank you notes for baby gifts. However, this was not Shane’s first rodeo. “What exactly do you think you will be doing in Labor and Delivery?” he calmly asked me.

Not reading, blogging, entertaining my friends or writing my thoughts down in my journal apparently…yes, I was just a bit niave.

No, the 28 hours I spent in Labor and Delivery (after almost a month in bedrest and two trips to the hospital) were spent hallucinating on Stadol (the worst drug ever), cursing the docs who gave me a defunct epidural(yes, I had to get TWO and went almost half of my labor with zero drugs), contorting my body in bizarre positions to turn my baby (who was caddywampus in my womb and “sunny side up” which apparently inutero is NOT a good thing) and screaming in pain (yes, it was just like the movies) as baby Josie took her own sweet time to make her debut.

Finally, after stalling at 8 centimeters for several hours, my blood pressure skyrocketed, my temperature escalated, my epidural ran out (and no one could find the anesthesiologist) and I was about to kill someone; my doctor thought he was going to have to do an emergeny c-section. At that point, I would have had her come out my eyeball, I was so desperate to get her out. However, right at that time, Baby Josie decided it was finally time make a move. Just as I had nothing left in me, I was going to have to push. And let me tell you, I have run a marathon, climbed mountains and done an 80 mile bike ride, and they were pretty much cake walks as to what I had already been through. And here I was getting ready for the most strenous part, the pushing.

For those of you new to the whole childbirth process, (like me), pushing is not really what I expected. For lack of a better term, you are basically “pooping” the baby out. There is no other way I can even think of describing it. And you are basically pooping with your legs spread eagle, curled in a ball while your doc, nurse and your hubby cheer you on and try to keep you conscious in between contractions. I was so desperately thirsty I was sucking water out of the washcloth that Shane was using to cool me off. All I could think about was a gallon size Sonic Limeade that was waiting for me as soon as she came out. I have never wanted anything more than I did that Limeade.

After ONLY two hours of pushing (and 26 hours of horrific labor) our lives were changed. The second she was placed in my arms, covered in goo and all, I was smitten. The agony of the past day completely went away as I held this little miracle child in my arms. How do you love someone so much that you only just met? (and that had put you through such horrible pain?) That is the miracle of parenthood.

Stay tuned for tales of the aftermath(which books fail to mention), guest blogs from the waiting room and new posts of “life with Josie”….thanks for sharing this adventure with us!

Love, the Fernandez Family plus one.

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About marniefernandez

Official kid wrangler of four. Step mom, adoptive mom & bio mom. City girl turned country bumpkin. Small town girl next door married to Hollywood sniper/moto-cross/ninja architect. Career girl turned stay-at-home mom with baby on hip. Permanent taxi-cab driver, schedule organizer and professional laundress. (When not chasing kids...) Mommy blogger, columnist, travel writer and consultant. And no, I don't sleep. And yes, I take Prozac. And drink wine from sippy cups.

4 thoughts on “Stadol Hallucinations and Defunct Epidurals

  1. Wow! What a nightmare!!! I feel like I know you, but realize I’m only just beginning to get to know you!!! I didn’t realize you were also an adoptive mom!!! How wonderful! I look forward to getting to know you even better, as you share your stories. Your L&D story is truly a nightmare. The fact that you’d consider doing it again confirms you might be a little nutty (not Charlie Sheen nuts, though). Baby J is a baby doll.

    • Yep, but good thing we forget or there would be no more babies! ๐Ÿ™‚ ANd yes, I am about every kind of mom you can be! Thank you so much – I’m glad we met via our blogs! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Michelle said it! Marnie, dear, You are amazing. Great recap. Only you can make something so painful so hilarious. ! You give aspiring mothers something to look forward to: the truth! (and the best miracles God could create.)

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